


Who let the Porgs out?

by Flyboy240



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, porgs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 22:05:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13820373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flyboy240/pseuds/Flyboy240
Summary: Chewbacca becomes a crazy porg wookiee so Rey confronts him.





	Who let the Porgs out?

Nobody had seen Chewbacca for several days so Rey decided to check on him. The current hideout of the remnants of the Resistance was an abandoned warehouse in an abandoned mining camp on a planet that made Jakku look positively cosmopolitan in comparison.  
  
The Millennium Falcon's ramp descended and Rey's jaw dropped. Porgs, being delicious and easy prey, had evolved to reproduce in an astonishingly fast manner. The small flock Chewbacca had brought on board had become an outright infestation.  
  
Chewie growled as he desperately tried to herd the Porgs away from the open hatch, and he was not very successful. A dozen made it out before Rey was able to close the hatch.  
  
"Chewie, what's going on here? What are you wearing?" Rey gave Chewbacca a perplexed look. He was wearing a long bright red robe, as were some of the Porgs.  
  
Chewie rumbled and groaned.  
  
"Life day? What is that?"  
  
Chewbacca growled some more.  
  
"Chewie, I know these things are helping you get through a difficult time, but you have to let some go. Look- they're nesting in the wires!" Rey used the Force to make one of the Porgs quit chewing on a high voltage line.  
  
Chewie just shrugged.  
  
"It's a fire hazard! Ok, I'll let ten go, starting with this one." Rey pulled a porg that was trying to get some of her hair to use as nesting material.  
  
Chewbacca grabbed it from Rey's hand and roared at her.  
  
"His name is Han junior? Why? These things are the exact opposite of Han!" Rey opened the hatch, "you can keep one, so grab your favorite."  
  
  
Dozens of Porgs streamed out of the Falcon and immediately began terrorizing the small Resistance camp, small fires broke out, and people scrambled for shelter.  
  
As the years have marched on the introduction of Porgs to Naktooine has been hotly debated as either one of the worst ecological disasters, or as a revolution in agriculture once the Porgs became domesticated.  
  
Porgs have replaced nearly all livestock, and the cost of protein based foodstuffs has plummeted. But on the other hand the ecosystems of several thousand planets have been devastated. All I know is General Hux's SBFP Spicy Porg Bites™ are delicious and only a credit per kilogram.


End file.
